Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Lean With It, Hypnotize It
Our group, who for now will be dubbed the Super Mash Bros., has worked on creating remixes with two seperate songs, utilizing full tracks, samples, instrumentals, and a capellas. With all of our effect, I'm sure you'll find something to enjoy.
With this little ensemble, we see the Notorious B.I.G. flowing over his track hypnotize with a little help from Atlanta's Dem Franchize Boyz, who took a break from all their snap music.
Dem Franchize Boyz vs. Notorious B.I.G - Lean With It, Hypnotize It
There are more tracks where this one came from, and eventually I'll rerelease them all in a sort of pseudo-album. In the meantime, still listen to gangsta music, my brothas.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
I'm Out For Presidents To Represent Me
What are these issues you ask?
Why, hip-hop of course.
Obama goes and get's busy lettin' us know what's bumpin' on his iPod, from new to old.
"You know. [Hip-hop] tells a story. As Jay would say 'He got flow.'"
Jay-Z - Lost Ones
Jay-Z - Ain't I
Kanye West - Stronger (unreleased original verse)
Kanye West ft. Common - The Food
"But I'm still an old school guy."
Marvin Gaye - Give It Up Remix
Stevie Wonder - That Girl
Temptations - Treat Her Like A Lady
Earth, Wind, & Fire - In The Stone
"I think the potential them to deliver a message of extraordinary power."
Just thought I'd throw this track out there. Obama is on the right track, but there was a movement recently called "Stop The Violence" where rappers who typically rap about shoot outs and the like spit something a little more abstract for them. Below is a piece of the track and here's the video.
KRS-One ft. Nelly, The Game - Self Construction
Friday, December 14, 2007
Ghosts: As Told By The Benjamins
Little is known about them, but one thing is absolutely certain; they are everywhere. A surprising number of paranormal sightings take place everyday. I don’t know what that number is, but were I to find out, I would no doubt be surprised. I found various lists of the “most haunted” places in America readily available online. I also found one list of the least haunted places, which it turns out are the Duncan Public Library in Oklahoma, a CVS in northern Maine, and the ranch style home of a man named Roger Stanwick.One of the most haunted places in America is the Eastern State Penitentiary in Pennsylvania, where I found shocking reported activity, like “An eerie shadow-like figure that scoots quickly away when approached”, and “An evil cackling reportedly comes from cellblock 12.” Eerie and evil cackling. I’m not sure if it’s even possible to talk about ghosts in your normal vocabulary. You have to slip into the speaking style of the narrator of an Ed Wood movie. This does, however, give us insight into the behavior of ghosts. Fitting with most other ghost sighting stories, it appears that they just kinda chill there, and speed away when someone comes looking. Sometimes they chill there and randomly cackle. I imagine a conversation between two ghosts would go something like this:
Ghost A: (evilly) MWAHAHAHA
Ghost B: dude what the hell
Ghost A: MWAHAHAHA
Ghost B: Are you cackling? Is that what that is? Stop, you’re gonna make people come over and I’ll hafta disappear.
Ghost A: ..ahaha..ha..haha..ha..whew. Sorry, I was thinking of that time Rob tried to haunt that one chicks house last month
Ghost B: Oh yeah, that was hilarious! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ghost A: MWAHAHAHAHAHA
The two ghosts. I think Ghost A is on the left.
Civil War Ghost: OOoooOOOoooIn conclusion, don’t write off the existence of ghosts because you haven’t seen or heard one. They might just not have anything important to do or say. Never forget, ghosts are fascinating entities sort of, and if they exist, they may but probably don’t play a vital role in society.
Guy: What the fuck?!
Civil War Ghost: I am Captain Joseph H. Charlesworth.
Guy: …
Civil War Ghost: I died in the great strife betwixt north and south that pit brother against brother.
Guy: Wow, the civil war? Really?
Civil War Ghost: Yeah. It was... It was bad.
Guy: I bet.
Civil War Ghost:…
Guy:…
Civil War Ghost: So…
Guy: So…
Civil War Ghost: Soooooo, Wanna watch TV or something?
Guy: um, yeah, actually I was kinda sleeping when you showed up, so I might just do that.
Ghosts still face prejudice in today's society. In the some areas, signs like this still hang over certain waterfountains.
The Ghost of Christmas Past from the Patrick Stewart 'A Christmas Carol', considered by many to be the gayest ghost of all time.
Ghosts often do battle with men in tan janitorial uniforms
A Ghostface Killah, above, and ghostridin' the whip, below, not to be confused with actual ghosts.
Just When I Thought I'd Given Up on the Internet...
Cheer up... you live in a world where this is hilarious....
Thursday, December 13, 2007
How the Grinch Killed Everyone
But high up in the mountains, someone-something does not.
Some say he's a myth.
Some say he's just a reclusive who, driven mad by the noise, noise, noise, noise.
Others say he is pure evil.
From his dark cave he watches, and he waits.
He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,
It doesn't matter if you've been bad or good.
You're life, he's going to take.
In Theaters This Christmas
Nightmare on 34th Street
Relax and Take Notes
I'm sure you all remember growing up with those commercials letting you know the danger of drugs and showing you how "everyday people" like yourself avoided drugs, be it family, friends, school, sports, whatever.
There's a problem with this never ending campaign against drugs though, and no, it's not the Mexicans, Trey. The name of the enemy is pop culture - the Penguin to our Batman, the Lex Luther to our Superman, and the Doc Octopus to our Spidey. Unlike those comic book match ups, though, pop culture will never lose. It's everywhere, and it's cherished.
Who doesn't like the movies like Half Baked, How High, and Cheech and Chong. Regardless of your stance on marijuana, these are funny movies that our youth is indulging in. Here's a clip from the comedy movie, Walk Hard:
There is twenty years of anti-drug progress down the drain. I also have an issue with the direction of some of these commercials. An organization called Above The Influence airs commercials where apparent users of different demographics are approached by there loved ones to stop smoking. Here is their newest commercial.
Now, I'm just being honest, but if a pot head's dog talked to them while they were high, I don't think it would stop them from smoking. They'd respond with a "Duuuude, Rex just talked to me. Lemme hit that again," and it would make them smoke more. Now, I leave you with some work by popular music artists that do all but discourage one from abstaining.
Afroman - Because I Got High
Afroman - 12 J's Of Christmas
Ludacris ft. Lil' Flip - Screwed Up
Method Man - 4:20
Sean Paul - We Be Burnin'
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Now I Ain't Sayin' She a Gold Digga'
Kay Jewelers
Disgusting, absolutely disgusting. I don't even have to go into detail about the bullshit love scene between these two people. Fuck them. What's encouraging about this commercial is the creativity of their perv son. He wants to get his dick wet too. So what does he do? No, He doesn't go spend hundreds of dollars on some piece of shit necklace, he makes his own Kay box and probably puts a stolen necklace in it. Good job, Kid.
We've all heard it, "Every kiss begins with Kay." The very phrase says a lot about Kay’s customers and their inability to satisfy their dyke of a wife . What they don't tell you in this memorable little jingle is what happens next. Within hours of your first Kay purchase, your penis falls off. Well, Okay (jewelers), not really, thats a lie, but it should... you pushover bitch. I couldn’t get a clip of Kay's main Christmas commercial for this year but here’s how it went:
(A young couple is looking through a Christmas tree lot)How desperate do you have to be to take it to that level? Kay Jewelers… more like... gay jewelers.
Pathetic Asshole: How about this one over here?
(Uptight Dyke notices a Kay Jewelers box under the tree)
Pathetic Asshole: Is this the one?
Uptight Dyke: No... (Gets close to Pathetic Asshole) THIS is the one...
Pathetic Asshole: Can I maybe have a hand job now?
Uptight Dyke: Haha aww… Not a chance.
(“Every kiss begins with Kay" song cues in as Pathetic Assholes penis falls off)
Jared The Galleria of Jewelry
On a side note, check out that "Little Lupe" site on the bottom, not bad...
After wading through a screen full of pop-ups, I was finally able to find one screen shot I remembered from the commercials:
Zales: The Diamond Store
Take that fucking goofy look of your face, sicko, the cops are already on their way.
If there is one thing that this commercial does extremely well, it's depicting what you are if you buy your wife/girlfriend/stalking subject a Zales product. A chunky douche bag. Nice effort, Zales, but that whole Vanessa Carlton thing is unforgivable.
I hate these commercials, I hate the companies who air them, I hate the people who buy into them, and most of all, I hate what they have done to our celebration of the Christ's birth. Today is your first and only warning, stupid jewelry store advertisers. Please don't test my patience come Valentines Day, for that will be your Day of Shreckoning.